Fixed

Holy crap, Wendy fixed me!

Last month, I had a really weird massage that involved what I'll call electric noninvasive acupuncture. It was a very bipolar experience in that I couldn't wait for it to be over... yet once it ended, I couldn't wait to go back for another massage. Wendy had become my new favorite massage therapist.

So I had my chance for another massage this week; but when I went back for my appointment, I learned that Wendy no longer worked there. I was disappointed but still went for my massage. My new therapist was definitely more traditional. No fun there.

Here's where the fun starts, though - there's a spot on my lower back that has been very tender when touched, and I've always had to warn my therapists about it because the pain gets in the way of a good massage. As I mentioned in my prior blog post about Wendy, I've had this problem for a really long time, I think about ten years. When I explained this pain to Wendy, she broke out her weird electro-pen thingy and worked her magic.

My therapist this week wasn't very conversational and didn't give me a chance to inform her about preferred pressure or other things she should know. So she just dug right into that tender spot, and I flinched, waiting for pain... that never came.

I also saw a chiropractor for one brief appointment in the last month, so that could have helped me out too... but I'm going to give the full credit for healing my back to Wendy.

I so desperately want to find out where Wendy and her magic wand went so that I can follow her to her new business, but I feel like it would be rude to ask her old employer for the info. Most businesses aren't going to willingly send me to their competitors, and they likely don't know where she's working anyway.

Wendy, if by any crazy random happenstance you are a Star Wars fan/runner/binge eater/blog reader and are following me, shoot me a note, please.

In other news, friends of mine welcomed their first child into the world last week, and I got caught up in all of the excitement since I was their dog sitter while they were at the hospital. Every time my friends have kids, I start to second-guess my decision to remain childless. I'm reminded that my own window for motherhood is rapidly closing.

Let's be clear, I'd be a mom in a heartbeat... if I suddenly didn't have to work anymore, had achieved balance with food and exercise, and lived in a state with crappier weather but better school systems. I am in awe of happier women who can balance successful careers with raising children - how do some women just have it all?

Or perhaps the better question is why are they so much better equipped than I am to handle the stress of it all? Do I just have a severely low stress tolerance compared to everyone else in the world?

Or maybe the best question would be what parts of their lives aren't so perfect that they are hiding from us all? I know with my perfectionist tendencies, I would go into nuclear meltdown mode because something else in my life would have to give for me to be a competent mother. Wendy, if you've got something that "fixes" perfectionism, let me know.

More than 60% of our household income comes from my paycheck, so my husband and I would take a major hit in lifestyle if I gave up my career. I still have an eating disorder to fight. And #sorrynotsorry, I love having unlimited access to sunshine.

So as much as I think kids are awesome, and that Ben and I would have brilliant (but short) progeny, I'm 100% confident I'm making the right decision. I've said it before, but we have to abstain from some of Life's pleasures in order to experience others.