Don't worry, this story actually has a happy ending

I changed my mind. I'm not going to write about Irma anymore.

In fact, I'm not going to be writing about anything anymore.

I've got a real Dr. Jekyll and Hyde thing going on sometimes. Is there a pattern here? Cyclical? Dunno. Not that I've ever been like...

But the Hyde in me definitely seems to be making a lot more appearances as of late. And the only way to get rid of it is to start accepting that there are things I will never be able to change.

I'm coming to the realization that perhaps we've all been lied to. That there's a business out there of trying to get you to believe you can change and improve, because people tend to thrive on hope. And they like to think they are in control of their lives.

Because it can be very distressing to know things are out of your control when you aren't ready to know that. I'm pretty good proof of that.

So I'm short and fat and not an athlete. And when I tried to change that... and took drastic measures to do it... of course things went horribly wrong for me.

I've known for a long time I wasn't gifted with the right genetics. One of the biggest reasons I'm choosing not to have children of my own is I don't think anybody else should have to suffer being me. Or even being 50% me. And people think adults who don't want children are selfish. I think this is pretty damn selfless, don't you?

Anyway, I started thinking about everyone I know in real life and realized that nobody I know personally has ever made permanent, lasting change to their weight, or went from being a band geek to a super athlete. And I do happen to know a lot of people in real life. This is not a small sample size.

I wasn't being overdramatic when I said every success story you've ever read must be fake. They're either lies intended to get you to buy something or stories from naive people who are going to end up right back where they started.

Sorry, this is very Mr. Hyde of me. Let me get to the good news.

You don't have to suffer anymore. You can accept the cold, hard truth, as much as you may hate it, and just try not to let it ruin your enjoyment of the short time you have in life. Spend your energy on things you can actually control. That's what I'm going to do.

So the very few of you whom I know and shared RttDS with in real life and read this, I look forward to not ever saying anything about eating, sleeping, training, and thinking like an athlete again.

And those of you I don't know in real life who still keep coming back here for some reason, thanks for your loyalty. Save whatever external links you want in the next week because you won't be able to after October 6.