Not doing the Kessel Run in 12 parsecs

I have been training using the Maffetone Method for 12 weeks now, which pretty much means "base-building" is over. I thought I'd try opening the throttle a bit to see how I might be looking for the Star Wars Half.

I didn't like the outcome of the experiment.

I couldn't even finish a 3 mile run... and I was running at a pace that was slower than last year's half.

For the first time ever, I wondered *if* I still even want to do the race in April.

But I quickly pushed that thought aside. Of course I still want to do it. When did I become so negative? I have got to start working on my perspective. This article suggests I can do it by getting back into regular meditation and learning to express gratitude.

I'll work on that, but in the meantime, let's take a moment to analyze why this isn't working for me and see if there's anything else I can do in the next 53 days to turn it around:

• Discipline: A quick re-read of the relevant Primal Endurance chapters reminded me that the MAF approach only works when you stay disciplined about being in the MAF target heart rate zone. I've let myself drift beyond it on almost every training run. I let it happen out of frustration of not being able to run at the pace I want. Sounds like even a few seconds outside my zone can wreck me, though. Plus, there were sporadic interruptions of undisciplined eating occurring, especially during the weeks I was moving. I need to respect the process much more fully over the next two months if I have any hope of this working out.
• Target HR: It is likely that the zone I have been aiming for - 130-140bpm - is still too high for me because I'm frankly just not that healthy. Without conducting formal MAF tests over the last few months - no access to a good 400m track to try it - I couldn't really be sure this pace is working for me. So I can try scaling back to 125-135bpm in future training runs, but my challenge here is that I can't actually run in this range. My slowest jog sends me upwards of 140, and walking drops me down to 120. This could be tricky, and even if I start now, it might be too late to help me for the race.
• Intuition: I won't lie, when I woke up this morning to run, I wasn't feeling 100% motivated to do it. When I wake up at 5:30, I just know if it's going to be a good running day or not. 

  

  Today, I was more like this.

  Nerves, stress, sleep - I know these things have not been dialed in appropriately to start incorporating faster runs. I wasn't ready for it, but did it anyway. So I'm not going to do it again until I feel I'm in a good space for it.

I can't easily flip the switch to "hope" from "hopeless," but for now I'll just try to find peace with where I'm at.

53 days left.

Today's Exercise: First "fast" run w/ core work:

M1: 9:24
M2: 9:47

Breakfast	Lunch	Snack	Dinner
3 Eggs w spinach, coffee	Tuna salad, TJ's Kraut	2 tbsp coconut butter, EPIC bison bites, 2 HB eggs	chili w/ guac, mint tea