Wandering

I love routine. Having a plan and knowing exactly what I'm going to be doing makes me less prone to decision fatigue. I plan my meals, plan my exercise (except when I need to be flexible), and go to sleep at roughly the same time every night.

So routine is great...

...Except I also hate routine.

There's something about spontaneity - doing something new, exciting, dangerous even. I crave it.

I think about my life up until my very recent working years. There was always something that broke up my routine. Summer vacation as a child brought two months worth of camp, bike rides with friends, and flights to Florida to hang out with my grandparents. In college, I'd look forward to summer jobs, free laundry at  home, and reconnecting with high school friends. My first career after college was at a university in California - so even though I worked through summers, it was far from the routine of the school year.

When I left higher education - and CA - I had a full month to make my way across the country to Connecticut. This was one of my most memorable adventures with my husband before we were married. We'd wake up with no real agenda, drive off to wherever felt right - Napa, Yosemite, Yellowstone, the Badlands, Mt. Rushmore - and set up camp for the night whenever we got tired of driving. We ate a lot of hot dogs over the fire that month.

Just three years later, we were presented with the opportunity to take a four-month sabbatical of sorts to work aboard a cruise ship for a program called Semester at Sea - a floating university that circumnavigated the globe and took us to ten countries.

From Vietnam

These extended periods of spontaneity have been harder to come by since I did Semester at Sea in 2009, though. Maybe it's one of the reasons I job-hopped a bit since then, although I think that was more largely due to anxiety.

I moved to New Jersey from Connecticut, and then to Florida, and each move brought the promise of something new, fun, and exciting. I can't say I'm not having fun living in paradise. But even that has brought with it a certain routine... and the feeling of a need for extended escape.

I think this recent article from Mark's Daily Apple sums up the way I've been feeling over the last few years. He's got a decent list of ways to bring more adventure into daily life.

Me? I'm giving it a shot with a quick escape to Colorado this weekend. I've never been, so looking forward to shaking things up. I've only got 5 days - not the month long sabbatical I've been craving, but certainly every little bit of adventure helps.

There may not be blog posts over this time, but likely plenty of documentation through SnapChat since there may be photos I don't want to live on forever...

How do you bring adventure into your daily life?

Medal of Bravery

My heart sank as I unpacked the last of 5,237 boxes Monday night.

No race medals.

I've run 4 half marathons and countless races of other distances, and now had nothing to show for it.

When I started packing and preparing to move to Florida from New Jersey last July, I knew stuff would get lost. Damaged. Ruined. It wasn't really of major concern for me as I don't place a lot of value on my possessions. Everything is replaceable.

Except my race medals. I only get to run my first half marathon once. There will only ever be one inaugural Star Wars Rebel Challenge.

I tried not to panic. I tried telling myself none of these races mattered. The half marathons all just broke my heart when I didn't reach my sub 2:00 goal. Losing my medals meant I'd get a do-over, right?

Lies. All of my races matter to me. That time I ran 200 miles. My first race ever. Running over two giant bridges because, well, why not? Not every race brought me personal records, but they all have stories. My race medals were the tangible representations of each story, awarded to me for innumerable hours of sweat and training.

And they were gone. I went to bed Monday night feeling like I lost some of my best friends.

So you can imagine my joy when my husband woke me up shortly after I went to bed to share this:

The Avengers Movie Marathon "medal" on the end is Ben's. He's particularly proud of that one.

There was one box labeled "Office Decorations" that we had put away since we aren't quite ready to decorate anything yet. He opened it up on a whim and, well, jackpot.

Looking forward to adding three more medals to the collection come April.

71 days left.

Today's Exercise:  Rest

Breakfast	Lunch	Snack	Dinner
Raisin Bran, coffee	Fried fish, brussels sprouts	HC Latte	Rotisserie chicken, okra, hot cocoa

Touchy Subject

I realized that I missed my monthly massage night in January. Given the high degree of stress I've endured because of my recent move and work, I figured I was overdue.

Disclaimer - I'm not some pampered privileged princess. Groupon/Living Social/etc. has made monthly massage affordable for me - the only drawback is that these types of deals are usually good for one-time use only, meaning I'm seeing a different massage therapist every single month. This is not a concern for me as I can count on one hand the number of times I've received a bad massage.

However, it also means I don't know who is going to be working on me...

...and when I show up for my appointment and some dude introduces himself as my massage therapist, I'm all like:

Yes, I discriminate. I'm a terrible person. But here's the thing - I'm there to relax and feel better, and I have a really difficult time doing that with a male massage therapist. My mind immediately goes to every single flaw on my body. Stretch marks. Scars. Chipped toenail polish and feet that still haven't entirely healed from a poorly thought-out beach run.

The logical, rational part of me rolls her eyes at the self-conscious, insecure me. Deep down, I know my thoughts are ridiculous. Why would my imperfections bother him any more than they would a female therapist? If they did, wouldn't he just choose a different line of work? He probably sees a lot of "weird stuff" on all kinds of random people - my "weird stuff" doesn't matter. Anybody who goes into massage, regardless of gender, is probably pretty sensitive, cares about making people feel better. and - at the end of the day - is just trying to pay the bills like everyone else.

I've never had a bad experience with a male therapist, and last night didn't break the streak. Once I turned my irrational mind off, the massage was pretty amazing. Don't know if these are all massage-related or not, but I slept well last night, had a great run this morning, and am feeling really good today.

But the next time I have a male therapist, will I remember all of this or will I go right back to feeling self-conscious?

I need to get over myself.

73 days left.

Today's Exercise:  First run in my new neighborhood

M1: 14:16
M2: 14;47
M3: 14:51
M4: 15:25
M5: 14:45
M6: 14:43
M7: 14:58

Breakfast	Lunch	Snack	Dinner
HC Latte	Chili, coffee w/ cream	peppermint tea	chicken apple sausage, baby spinach salad

Under Pressure

Trying to squeeze two weeks of work into 2.5 days this week is leaving me feeling a little bit fried. I took some time off last week to move and unpack, and will be taking a day and a half at the end of this week to furnish my new house. I thought it would be fun to go to the furniture capital of the country, North Carolina, to do it - but I think I brought excess stress upon myself by planning it this way. It doesn't help that I have no internet at the house yet and now have to "commute" to work. I'm poaching internet at my mother's house so that I can remain gainfully employed, check my email, and get the blog done.

Better than the alternative - without my mom's house, I'd be spending an entire day using WiFi at Starbucks or Dunkin Donuts and pounding lattes. I still feel way too presssured to get things done though, and it's making the animal crackers and chocolate she has here in the house way too appealing.

I had hoped to get back to morning running today before work - I'm not sure how much running I'll be able to do this weekend while travelling - but I didn't sleep very well last night. Among the issues:

•  I had everything on my "to do" list running through my mind. 
• I haven't figured out the programmable thermostat in the new house, and it got really hot. Ah, Florida. 
• Zelda - our feral rescue kitty - was really anxious about being given free range of the house. She and Kirbi had been living in one room until we completed moving stuff in and out, and we opened the doors yesterday for them to explore. Zelda would get nervous whenever she couldn't find Kirbi and start whining pretty loudly. 

Zelda currently holds the high score in "cat fishing" on the iPad. Maybe I'll put this out for her if the meowing continues.

So I think I logged about 4 hours of sleep last night and decided to skip the run. And skipping a planned run just adds to my anxiety. 

I know what I need to do to get myself off the ledge. Meditate. Eat good, healthy (preferably low carb) food. And remind myself what I've already accomplished while continuing to chip away at the "to do" list.

It just feels so overwhelming right now.

74 days left.

Today's Exercise:  Unplanned Rest

Breakfast	Lunch	Snack	Dinner
Chili, coffee	3 Bean soup, animal crackers, more coffee	Kale Chips, fruit smoothie, 3 pieces of chocolate	chili

Upgrading to a BB-8

After taking a few days off from running to focus on moving and unpacking, I found myself with a little time and motivation to take one last jog down Bayshore Blvd. today before saying goodbye to Tampa for a  while. 

Which gave me a chance to use my new droid*:

I got it in purple to match my awesome new shoes.

The Garmin Forerunner 230 is essentially the same as the FR 235, which I fired two weeks ago. The key difference is that the 230 does not have optical heart rate monitoring - you must use a chest strap to get your HR.

Before today, chest straps and I were not friends. But the strap that came with the bundle did me no wrong. And I had a pretty even, consistent, stress-free run. 

Maybe I'll actually keep the FR 230. 

Oh, I did find my old Polar Heart Rate monitor while unpacking everything - so for friends who mentioned interest in getting started with HR training, let me know and I'll send it your way. 

There's still a ton to do to truly feel settled at the house, but it will all come in time. I don't have internet set up yet at home - we're hoping the local cable company will have everything set after Wednesday. I'm using the WiFi at Dunks right now, and will need to "commute" to my mother's house for the next two days so I can get connected for work. I am hoping to still be able to check in here - I was pretty proud of only needing to skip one day of blog writing over the craziness of the last few days, but it really killed me to miss posting yesterday. 

So back into the groove with running, feeling good about my new hardware - now, just need to get back to where I was with my diet. Unfortunately, my day today is pretty reflective of how I've been eating during the move. I just didn't have time or the inclination to cook and eat healthfully.

*Amazon Affiliate Link. This means that if you click a link to Amazon through my site and buy something, I may earn a commission. Much obliged.

75 days left

Today's Exercise:  Last outdoor run @ Bayshore Blvd:

M1: 15:47
M2: 15:40
M3: 15:49
M4: 15:30
M5: 15:23
M6: 15:49

Breakfast	Lunch	Snack(s)	Dinner
Quinoa and sausage, coffee	Egg and cheese on a bagel, caramel coffee	Donut	N/A, tea

Blogroll

Moving.

The adventure of going somewhere new is great, but the physical act... I would not wish upon my worst enemy. 

Still unpacking and getting settled into our new home. Not much new to share here, other than I'm exhausted and really hoping I can get right back into running on Monday.

So I'll let others do the writing for me today. Here's a few things I've read over the past month or so that I find interesting and relevant.

Sleep Like an Athlete:

• The latest iOS now reduces blue light to help you sleep.

Think Like an Athlete:

• Think optimistically (but plan realistically, please. When I have more time, I'll explain.)
• Why I should find time to play more Super Smash Brothers.
• Why accepting the possibility I might fail actually boosts my confidence.
• 57 small changes that will improve your life - 8, 26, and 29 I do here on the blog!

Train Like an Athlete:

• Maybe it's just time to accept my flaws.
• Yeah, I get a little sweaty when I work out. It's not a big deal.
• The relationship between overexercising and overeating explained.
• From my experience, these tips to encourage healthy habits in others don't work out so well. If anything, I think you have to show by example, but let me know if they work out for you.

Eat Like an Athlete:

• Sugar addiction. It's real. I'm still trying to beat it.
• Strategies for situations in which you may find yourself off-roading nutritionally.

77 days left

Today's Exercise: More box moving.

Having trouble eating right while in the middle of chaos. Looking forward to getting my full kitchen back.

Musings

In an effort to satisfy my OCD urges with the blog, I've pre-written a few posts so that I wouldn't have to worry about getting to it while moving.

Today's message is about failure. January is just about over, and I expected to be further along in my half marathon training at this point. April 17th crawls closer. Unless some Maffetone Method magic kicks in soon, I need to accept that it is possible my sub 2:00 half marathon is not going to happen.

And I need to learn to be ok with public failure.

So I really like this article right now: 5 Failures You Need to Experience if You Want to Succeed in Life.

The author writes: "Success and happiness come with noticing the progress you’ve made, and understanding that every lesson is a step forward."

Alright. Let's notice progress then, shall we? I've come to a point where running is not a chore. I like my runs - I don't torture myself on the treadmill anymore. I found a way to run where it doesn't feel like punishment, and where it's gentle enough for me that I've remained injury free for a few months now. 

If my sub 2:00 half marathon goal doesn't happen in April, then I feel ok about not "retiring" from running just yet.

But just like the author talks about not giving up, I'm also going to keep trying. If it isn't in April, then I've got my eyes on the Fall.

78 days left

Today's Exercise:  Rest, unless you count moving 8 million boxes into my new house.

Yeah, I'm not going to post my food log today. There might have been a severe sugar relapse, or maybe there wasn't. It shall remain a mystery.

Even Rocky had one...

I'm a home owner. Again.

After a three month delay, my husband and I finally closed on our house in Florida. 

There's so much to do.

• Move out of our storage unit. 
• Unpack five years of life from NJ... that's been sitting in storage for six months.
• Furnish. We sold pretty much all of our stuff before moving out of our old cape cod home... what could possibly be left in all of these boxes?
• Move in appliances. 
• Find internet pronto. I need it to continue working remotely.
• Pack and move two cats and a dog out of our temporary apartment.
• Clean everything.
• Landscaping. Pest Control.
• Blog.
• Figure out how to shave off 7 minutes per mile in less than 80 days for my Star Wars Half.

How am I gonna get it all done?

79 days left

Today's Exercise:  Treadmill run @ Globo Gym:

M1: 15:25
M2: 15:46
M3: 15:46
M4: 15:32

Breakfast	Lunch	Snack(s)	Dinner
3 eggs with spinach, coffee	Salmon salad, tea	2 HB Eggs	Chili, tea