This past week, it didn't seem to matter that I wasn't sleeping that much. I had energy. I was content - nothing could ruin my day (except a non-working heart rate monitor, perhaps).
It's starting to catch up to me in week 2 now. Last night was another rough night, likely due to underfeeding myself. I was at Disney's Animal Kingdom yesterday, and didn't really have a plan - other than to pack some walnuts in case I got hungry - since the parks don't usually offer much in the way of low carb. (Side note: I have not once felt hunger since starting this 9 days ago).
But things that would not otherwise have phased me are throwing me into emotional turbulence. I cried during the Finding Nemo show. It's not even that good of a show, and I've seen the movie a bazillion times. But I just wanted to yell out "Come on, Marlin. Stop telling Nemo what he can and CAN'T do."
It wasn't all tears. On the opposite end of the spectrum, every single ride felt like the best ride I'd ever been on. During the safari, seeing every animal brought me intense joy. Even the egrets, which are as common as pigeons down here. I almost melted when I saw lions. (totally my power animal). How is it that I get to be so lucky to drive a little over an hour and see lions?
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| I need to get my moods back under control. |
Here's the other thing, though - things that USED to get me riled up seem to have no effect. For example, my husband came home with larabars and packs of "gluten free" potato chips for me on Saturday. Pre-TWT Nicole would have given him an exasperated look and complained about how many times I've told him not to bring junk food home and that all chips are usually gluten free and why, oh WHY can't he just understand I don't want to be a slave to food anymore?
That didn't happen this time though. My thoughts immediately went something like this: "Poor Ben, it must be very hard for him when I'm on and off elimination diets with different rules all of the time. I love that he thinks about me when he goes out." And I smiled, thanked him, and put the junk food in the pantry knowing fully well that having this stuff accessible to me isn't going to be a problem because I just don't want it anymore.
I love the euphoria, I love not having the urges to binge... but I need to sleep. I'm writing here earlier than usual to try to achieve some level of focus so that I can get my work done today. The experiment for now is to try to keep going through day 14 but adding more food until I can actually sleep through the night. I've added a column to the table below to start tracking snacks. Feel free to comment if you have experienced anything similar and how you might have solved the problem.
124 days left.
Today's Exercise: Rest (Monthly massage tonight though, woo hoo!)
Breakfast
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Lunch
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Snack
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Dinner
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| 3 Eggs, spinach, Coffee | Tuna Salad, peppermint tea | Walnuts | Paleo taco salad |
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